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Pukey, so many offline thoughts

Pukey, so many offline thoughts

Thanksgiving came and went with a blink and a metal pan. At some point last Monday the devil jumped into my belly and began doing an evil dance. This led to 12 hours of hardcore stomach flu afflicting both entrance and exit. It was sick like I haven't known sickness since I was a little guy. Needless to say thanksgiving was anticlimactic. The food was awesome but I wasn't! Also my little guy, 2yr old, had the same sickness. It was a long week for my wife, man! Once again, what would the world do without Moms?
Casualties of the week included one part of our sofa sectional, the living room area rug, one white tshirt, a stuffed animal and one blanket. ...Two year olds have bad aim with the puke. It wasn't pretty. It was a learning experience.

The business spin:
A company based on toddlers coming of age. All products start at the two year old and work up to age five. More important a company with a stated mission to sheppard parents, esp new parents, through those first moments of toddlerdom.

It would take a couple of directions, from web/gift store of user generated gift idea (these worked for me...perhaps you too)...think Amazon store, to a specific core brand of helpful products related to the task of dealing with toddlers. On one hand the website would sell anything helpful as long as posted by customers. On the other hand the business would be a very traditional branded products business.

The hook, all product ideas would come from end user stories about toddler situations. Take my week long puke and poop fest for example. A friend of a friend told us how they bought plastic tarp and duct tape and covered every inch of their child's room. When I heard that story, at the beginning of the week, I thought that sounded crazy over the top. I think I actually called them "nutbags." At the end of the week I am out one section of our 2000buck sectional sofa and one awesome area rug, and I am thinking the idea of covering everything in plastic was not only brilliant but also a product. Nutbag or wise soul all depends on experience and perspective.

With the right graphic design and clever instructional manual a package consisting of plastic tarp, several rolls of packing tape, a pair of scissors and some gloves turns into a quite memorably functional gift. Think of this type of gift falling into the "in case of emergency, break glass" category.
Seriously, next time the stomach flu comes to my house my wife and I will treat it differently. Plastic makes a lot of sense now. So does Febreeze and face masks and rubber gloves and pans with handles.

The best part is these products would be "gifts". They would be designed for maximum storytelling...so memorable that you tell someone else about them. No one goes looking for a collection of plastic products used to keep vomit off of expensive upholstery...where would you go? The hardware store? Make no mistake "the PukeyPale" or "PoopeyPale" will stand out at specialty retailers and KidsRUs. While the product might end up high on a shelf in your closet you will remember it the first time your toddler spews cheerios and milk. And at that point you'll break the packaging revealing a bucket full of plastic tarps, packing tape, rubber gloves, scented face masks and instructions on the proper technique for creating tight, form fitting corners around chairs and beds, as well as, helpful hints on removing nasty odors from rugs and expensive upholstery.

I could go on all night but my wife is growing tired of the in-bed typing. Goodnight!

KungFoo'd

KungFoo'd

So, for real right...there is no way KungFoo'd hasn't been used for a restaurant name. Could it be? Nope...taken all over the place and for good reason. It's a pretty silly play on words and exactly the kind of name you'd expect to see in a strip mall full of misinformed suburban white people.

Speaking of, I was driving home tonight and had to pick up something quick and cheap. My wife was at home all day with two, count 'em two, two-year boys. My son and his buddy Cal pretty much put Mom over the edge with toddler antics thus I was told to bring home anything as long as it was already prepared.

This task always troubles me. For one there is the "good food vs time" issue. I could stop somewhere and order awesome healthy take out but that would add and extra thirty to forty minutes. ...way too long with my wife at home in a toddler hostage situation. I could stop at Culvers and order a few salads but there are those stinkin' onion rings leaping off the menu board. Never mind I put an end to the soda drinking so value meals (baskets as Culvers and Michaels calls 'em)aren't so valuable anymore. McDonalds, that's right, I love you, but I can't do that to my son for dinner. Road trips to Waupaca? You bet, but not dinner.

I could go to my favorite market but its literally the wrong way and who knows how long it'll take to get through the deli, check out and drive back the correct way home. Remember people, Mom is at home tied to a chair with duct tape and rope while the two year old boys make fine art from spilled milk, Cheerios, toothpaste and toilet paper and any other thing that Mom and Dad would rather remain hidden from sight. 

As I drove I had time to consider options. Good quality food isn't fast in any way. Most drive thru food is made to be a hand held item with hand held sides like burgers and fries. Beyond that there is always Taco Bell or Taco Johns...perhaps that janky Labamba on Monona drive. There are burgers and fries and more burgers and fries and holy cow we can't forget KFC who has an entirely refreshed line of not so healthy handhelds.

For the non-handhelds I could go to black hole Subway and lose 30minutes of my life while stoner-mcLong-hair gets confused over toasted-not-toasted and three cheese options. (Seriously I worked at Subway when I was 20 and I can say that the slowest subway's in America are in wisconsin. Btw the slowest in Canada are in Quebec, near the town of Asbestos). There is Pizza Hut for ready made single topping pizza's or Little Caesars if you are Detroit proud.

I drive past many drive thru's on my route home. None are doing it for me. Aha, finally, cheap Chinese! That's right we are finally back to KungFood.

Be happy cause I am going to end this abruptly. Nothing spells "punch line's comin'" like Blackberry finger cramps.

Ok millions of people have circumstances that lead them to fast food for a family dinner. This is less than ideal. There are few drive thru options other than hand held dominated options (wraps, tacos and sandwiches). There are no Organic drive thru chains...think about that? If there are please send me a link below...specifically organic drive thru!

Organic is interesting but not my focus. 
Kungfoo'd: the pitch - combine pan Asian buffet with a drive thru. This would be like the deli counter but for lazy bastards (ahem parents) who either don't want to get out of their car because of timing constraints or have kids in car seats and only two hands.

Scenario: Drive up, order pint of noodles and quart of Buddha Garden, one can of coconut milk and a hot tea. A goofy high school kid fills your order from the ready made/fresh "buffet" or deli counter, takes your money and off you go. This could be replicated for any buffet style food really, organic, American or otherwise.
If people are concerned about handheld options we could make a lo mein wrap with crunchy noodles for "zest and zing." But really the handheld argument due to eating in the car is bs if you ask me. There are plenty of walk in, take out models to prove it wrong and you can't prove to me that people would rather try to find a place to park, unbuckle, grab their crap, lock their car doors, walk inside, stand in line, pay in person only to be handed a couple bags full of take out along with drinks that they have to carry back to their car with two hands. ...right try to juggle your key fob to unlock your door with bags and drinks!

Regardless, there it is. Buffet meets deli counter meets healthy cooked options meets drive thru. Test market it in the St Louis burbs then roll it out to affluent cities. If investors complain about a lack of hand helds plan for second year launch of a light yet creative snack line and brand it as customer driven. Put a smiley face, tongue in cheek graphic on the packaging too.

All that from a stop at China Inn on Cottage Grove road.

Rock Foo

Reckless Doing and Bumper Funnels, clockart 2010

Reckless Doing and Bumper Funnels, clockart 2010

Full tilt flow: Imagine a truck load of super balls dumped down a spiral shaped parking garage ramp. Imagine a dump truck full of brightly colored rubber balls in sparkles, stripes, dots and swirls! Imagine watching the balls bounce out down and over in slow motion. That is the kind of strategy company I want to start someday.‬‪

Based on the premise that you can't tell the balls where to go and you can't predict with any certainty where each will individually land (resting state at the end-o-chaos). All you can do is set the structure [define space/constraints] that defines potential effects. Does the parking ramp have enclosed walls or can the balls bounce over the sides falling to concrete below only to hit curbs and rocks and drains that amplify further bounce energy? Are your super balls oval so they bounce "funny?" Can you put up obstacles that define trajectory?
After determining structure let the thing become all that it can be by consistently generating, refining then destroying.‬‪ My gut says too many well meaning people try way to hard to control a thing or situation and in that moment they deny evolution. Evolution is the dna of innovation. This is important and a distinction, I think constraints liven creativity. I think control does the opposite. A constraint is like a hurdle that can be jumped or limbo'd under. A control is like a road block that stops all action or denies responsive behavior.

Perhaps I'd call the company UnStructure.‬‪ We'd be like demolition experts for old systems that desperately require implosion and new vision! LOL, that made me laugh at myself a little...regardless I hope you know where I am going with this idea.

For sure this is the subject of a book I want to research and write.‬‪ As I posted on my LI page I'd title it, ‬‪"Reckless doing and Bumper Funnels; the power of unstructure, unhinge and unleash.‬‬" 

Anyway,
Q. Where does this interest in the power of chaos come from?
A. Watching a lot of teams and reading about organizations who do a lot to structure processes, innovation and growth for seemingly no gain. Watching other teams who unhinge and unstructure and prune their way to prosperity while others set the stage to gain from "luck" and chance. The places that unhinge seem to win in my book...I got nothing more to stand on than my gut and a handful of stories though!

Have a superb night/day!
cL!

Silver Bells and Wrapping paper.

So I wrote the following on my LinkedIn update the other day, "Ever wonder why people ask you what you want for Christmas yet give you something other than what you asked for, repeatedly, even when your wish list was super reasonable and in some cases lower cost than what they bought you? I always wonder this. Perhaps they don't write it down? Perhaps they don't believe I really want a subscription to Fortune, Thrasher or Juxtapose. Perhaps to them a package of high quality (nitrate free) all-beef hot dogs does not sound worthy of silver bell wrapping paper? LOL. Perhaps this will be a blog entry."

And then I wrote the blog entry or rather the businessidea/value model ideation and at the end I was so tired (cause it was late) that I just forwarded it to my email and cc'd two of my inspiring coconspirators. Sleep, wake up. Boom, it seemed to be a winner or at least got those two pretty fired up, thus I am not posting it.

Now we are talking about what it's gonna take to make it happen or at least to create a mockup/prototype.  That is fun. I wish I could share it. Perhaps once we realize the idea sucks or find we don't have the capital to do anything anyway I will share it with the world.  btw it's not about the magazines or the hot dogs.

This much I know: Every human moment has an idea worth chasing.

above, photo by my wife of my favorite tree ever. I am digging that tree up and taking it with me if I ever move. When it blooms it makes me proud. It is magnificent really. All things bloom eventually. Knowing when to prune makes blooms more vibrant.

Avatars, conferences and grandpaAwesome

 

Finally, I got it!  The Avatar catalyst (above)! Hooray.  Well, actually I had it two weeks ago and then I lost it...little cognitive-wazoo on my part. Seems Blackberry doesn't automatically save text images to disk the way my old Moto Razor did and upon clearing my entire inbox I discovered I erased the coveted Avatar image. My bad. Then work got all crazy fun and I lost track of time...regardless, here we go!

So if you are wondering, this rant is the follow up to "four ideations and one I can't post." Read that one first if you have to otherwise (sans the typos) I recap:

In the last post I was thinking about how important avatars [with real photos] are to personalization and trust esp in the era of LinkedIn and Facebook. They are, in fact, super important, especially for virtual world acquaintances who are real world strangers. As noted I went to conference on the east coast and met three people in the real who I "knew" online but had never actually met prior in person. I found these people because of their LinkedIn photo, specifically because their LI photo was an actual face photo and not say, the Colonel from KFC. Simple eh? Yeah, right, says "your Mom". I also said if those people [whom I met] had used an image of an "apple" or "blue haired mohawk warrior princess" as their pic/avatar it would've served no positive purpose for them or for me. Surely we wouldn't have met at all!

Putting a face to a name really matters. As online and real worlds merge Identity andGenuinity especially matter. As far as I am concerned facial recognition is the